After helping his native Japan win the World Baseball Classic, Daisuke Matsuzaka has pitched in two games so far in the regular Red Sox season. The latest was against the Oakland athletics this past Tuesday in Oakland. Dice pitched for an incredible 41 whole pitches, only allowing 5 runs on 5 hits, and helping the Athletics come back from a 3 run deficit to a 2 run lead. . . all in one inning!

He’s awesome!

I can’t stand this guy any more. I’ve waited patiently for him to adjust to American baseball. I’ve read all the articles about how the high pitch counts don’t matter because he wins games. I’ve endured the week long innings while he nibbles away at the plate like a debutante at a Ladies’ Luncheon, sampling her first finger sandwich.

I feel like a traitor, being so blatantly critical of a member of my Sox. But there comes a point for even the most rabid fan where the truth outweighs loyalty. I’ve reached that point, and here’s why:

The Good

• Dice’s stats. In 2008, he went 18-3. That’s great. That’s a .857 winning percentage. Most teams would kill for that, right? Right?
• His 2008 ERA was 2.90. Also awesome. The guy is the single greatest pitcher ever from the Pacific Rim. Gotta be.
• With runners in scoring position, his opposing batter’s average was .164. The man is a pitching machine.

Okay, let’s be serious.

The Bad

• I’m tired of hearing the “stats” on Precious. In 2008, Dice started in 29 games. He only received decisions in 21 of them. Why? Early exits. He averaged 5.8 innings a game, and totaled only 167 2/3 innings for the season.
  
• In fact, in 29 starts he only lasted for 7 innings or more 4 times. Other than taxing the shit out of the bullpen for the length of the season, that means if the Sox dropped the game, the pitcher who came in after him was probably handed the loss.
• Here’s a great example. . . check his stats for this season so far. He’s listed as 0-1 even after he gave it up against the A’s . While it’s standard practice to assign the loss to the pitcher who comes in after him, it’s like a corporate middle management clinic.  “Here’s a project I turned into a FUBAR situation, Masterson. Fix it. And if you could take the blame. . . that’d be great.”
• Wanna know why his ERA is so low? Because he hands out walks like candy. He averaged 5.05 walks per nine innings last year, for a total of 94 walks over the season.
• And finally, my aching apple bag, watching him is like standing in line at the DMV. 3 balls, a hit. 18 balls, a walk. 280 balls, then a hit. I’m asleep, Pedroia’s asleep, Manny wants to switch teams again in this half of the inning. It’s deflating for the viewers and deflating for the guys behind him. . . how can anyone on the field concentrate for that long of an at bat?

So the question becomes, what do we do? He makes a terrible conundrum for the Red Sox. It’s called the Andruw Jones Paradox. Management needs to save face by keeping a high salary pitcher in the fore front. You can’t bench a guy you paid an exorbitant amount to get.

Think of it this way, if Dice made $1-2M a year, do you think he’d be our #3 starter? Or would we be talking about Masterson or Bucholz moving up permanently right now? Conversely, they recognize to some extent that he hasn’t lived up to expectations. He’s making $8M a year (base) as the #3 starter after getting bumped from the #2 spot by Lester.

Couple that with the fact that he sells a ton of merchandise in Japan, and the Red Sox are happy to say he has “arm fatigue”.

Arm fatigue. The 8 Million Dollar Man can’t pitch today. . . because he’s tired. Thanks for the whole inning against Oakland, Dice. You enjoy that WBC Champions cap while the Sox are 3-6.

I get that the front office needs to keep up appearances. I can almost, but not quite, excuse the fact that he could pitch for Japan in the WBC but can’t get his shit together for the team that actually pays him. But say what you like about the bats, if your #3 starter is blowing a 3 run lead in the first inning, you’ve got problems.

So I have to ask, what do the Red Sox want to do? Win games? Or save face with a pitcher who doesn’t belong on their team?