In a Gear Up For Sports Exclusive Interview, Red Sox management has announced that John Henry has sold his controlling interest in the Boston Red Sox  to the American Ship Building Company for an undisclosed amount.

The announcement will come as something of a shock to Red Sox fans. However, Mr. Henry has stated that since his engagement to finaceé Linda Pizzuti, “its time for me, and the Red Sox organization, to move on to bigger and better things.”

The sale was completed over the weekend after getting approval from Major League Baseball and MLB Commissioner Bud Selig. The American Ship Building Company will take a controlling interest in the Red Sox as of June 1st, 2009. The ASBC is owned exclusively by the Steinbrenner family, and has been building large cargo and military ships since before World War 2.

Hank Steinbrenner was not immediately available for comment, but released the following statement through his press secretary just as this story was going to print:

“We are proud to take control of the Red Sox. The Steinbrenner family looks forward to elevating the so called Red Sox Nation to the next level. We have a multi-part plan already in progress to take the Red Sox from a mid level team to a true competitor in Major League Baseball. And part of that plan will be to replace the clearly decrepit Fenway Park with a modern stadium befitting the stature of the Steinbrenner name. Fenway has been a visual blight on the village of Boston for long enough.”

The Steinbrenner owned New York Yankees are getting ready to open a new stadium for the 2009 season,

playing their first regular season game against the Cleveland Indians on April 16, 2009.

Steinbrenner went on to comment: “The New Yankee Stadium is such a success after $400 million in New York taxpayer subsidies, that our next move will be to demolish Fenway Park and put up a new park to house the Red Sox. We are currently investigating possible sites for the new Dunkin’ Donuts Monster Munchkin Home Run House, but I can tell you that we are seriously looking at Ogunquit, Maine, New Haven, Connecticut, and Johnston, Rhode Island.”

“Fenway Park will be violently and vehemently leveled following the 2009 season, and the Boston Red Sox will share the minor league McCoy Stadium with the Pawtucket Red Sox until such time as a new stadium can be erected. The resulting opening on Yawkey Way will be parceled and sold to various retail outlets.”

“In the meantime, Yankees and Red Sox fans can purchase pieces of the Fenway Rubble online at yankees.com following the demolition. Pieces of steel will be crafted into the shape of A-Rod’s head, and sold for $49.99. Old chairs will be turned into commodes. And the concrete will be pulverized and added to various food products at the New Yankee Stadium to increase the profitability on a $25 hot dog, among others. It’s a win-win for baseball fans and shareholders everywhere.”

Fenway stands together with Chicago’s Wrigley Field as true testaments to baseball’s enduring passion. We here at Gear Up For Sports mourn the loss of one of baseball’s historical treasures, but have to respect the financial genius of the Steinbrenner clan.

Fenway Park will be missed.